Feeling

Musing

“The essence of trauma is disconnection from ourselves. Trauma is not terrible things that happen from the other side - those are traumatic. But the trauma is that very separation from the body and emotions. So, the real question is, “How did we get separated and how do we connect?” 

- Gabor Mate, from an interview [why are so many adults today haunted by trauma?]

We've arrived at summer and have been invited in to sip from the splendor. There are a few things on my mind as I compose this note. When I began studying Craniosacral therapy and giving sessions (we're in our 3rd year now) it was one of a few moments in my in life that occurred with such totality that things were ever changed from there. I could also look at this that I am calling a moment and say things had been developing beneath the surface to create something that did not yet have a name or a way but that what arrived was a name. Both perspectives are true; a moment requires hard work.

When we talk about purpose or meaning what are we really talking about? And is it something that stays, or, like most things, is fluid? How do we know when we've found it? The thing is that I'm not sure that we do know - what happens is more a choice than it is a knowing. 

What I have come to recognize is a feeling, not so much an emotion, but a feeling where we feel  a "connection". When, how, where to do learn to love and protect the feeling body within us that communicates connection? We can call in intuition and instinct as guides, stillness, practices of yoga, meditation, Cranio, writing or drawing.   

What I've begun to see, just the tiniest edge, is there is a Being that lives within me that is me and asks that I love and serve it as if it were an other; it is through my body that I experience existence. Jung would call this the process of individuation, Wallace Stevens might say the "Neccessary Angel", Hinduism would say Atman, we could say the animal, the organism, the Buddha... 

In the quote at the top of this musing Gabor Mate describes trauma not as something that happens from the outside to me, but something that happens inside - in me. Trauma is the animal speaking, we are asked to meet the being that is me and asks for me. We have been invited to explore those places where we connect and where we disconnect. In these spaces we find healing and we feel the sharp edges of the cracks. Here we get to ask and answer for ourselves or not answer, listen, watch, float, settle. 

It is here that Cranio leads --  

Please join me for sessions this summer - private sessions or clinic sessions. We can expect some changes - transformation - both in the world and in our bodies. 

Lots of Love, 

Molly